Karma

A bit long so here's the outline:
1. Roto Rooter and window installers working on opposite ends of the house at the same time.
2. I couldn't find my Mom (she was at the grocery store) so we left town an hour later than planned.
3. The GPS took us to downtownn SLC where Mormon Handicraft used to be, but wher they are currently under construction.
4. Emma's plane was delayed a little over an hour.
5. After standing in 3 lines (2 of which were in the wrong terminal) 20 people long we finally got a pass to go to her gate (she's a minor).
6. I misunderstood security and threw away my Nalgene bottle only for them to clarify that what they meant was dump out the water--which I did after fishing out my bottle.
7. I unconciously tried to pass through the security archway with a metal ring on my driver's license pouch and my cell phone in my pocket.
8. Security vultures were circling to pounce on the blundering idot incogneeto (sp?) bomb threat.
9. I lost my cell phone in the bathroom after dinner, but found it after searching everywhere BUT there eventhough that is where I had JUST come from.
10. We laughed all day long at all the mishaps.

Read on for the full story, or just browse.
I should've known when we had to call Roto Rooter and 8:00 in the morning that my day was not going to be a "normal" day. Last Saturday we had scheduled some new windows be installed. Hooray! A plug for our new windows...American Exteriors has fabulous windows and we got a trmendous deal!

The installers were scheduled for 8:30 so I woke up and showered. As I'm blow drying my hair I start to hear the tub and sink and toilet "Glub, glub, glub..." Sure enough the tub and sink and filling with water and who knows what from who knows where. I'm pretty sure I didn't wash any of that down the tub in my shower. So Andy strolls in and started plunging to no avail. Well, it was a Saturday mind you so finding a plumber that is open and willing to come and unclog our system was a bit perplexing. Of course we chose our favorite plumbers first (what? don't you have a favorite plumber, too?) but they were closed. Which led us to Roto Rooter, open 24 hours a day for all your plumbing needs.

Meanwhile, the window guys show up and start ripping our windows out on the north end of the house whilst Roto Rooter begins work on the south end of the house and the bathroom. Andy and I kind of tag teamed the whole thing with Robert in the middle. Normally we don't watch any t.v. or movies before books, lunch, and playing outside, but considering the circumstance Lightning McQueen was just the thing we needed. Turns out a root had grown into our pipes out behind the house. For now, our plumbing is free flowing and our windows installed. Hooray!

So time comes around that I'm ready to make the trek with my Mom to Salt Lake City International Airport to pick up my niece Emma. We had planned on leaving around 10:30 even though Emma's flight wasn't coming in until 6:30 so we could do a little SLC shopping. When I called my Mom she wasn't home. Instead my other niece Sara (staying in town for a ballet camp) answered the phone and let me know my Mom had just run to the store to grab a gallon of milk. I should've known right then something was going to happen because I know how hard it is for most of us, especially my Mom, to go to the store to get "just a gallon of milk." Long story short, as I drove to my inlaws to borrow their GPS I passed the grocery store and there sat my Mother's car. As though a cloud of inspiration had opened before me I knew 2 things. 1) My Mom realized we would be getting home too late to go to the store (around 9:30ish) and 2) she also realized that she needed a few more things for Sunday dinner--okay maybe a lot more. Regardless, we left town headed for SLC at 11:45. There was my next clue it would continue to be one of those days.

Niether of us had been to Mormon Handicraft for A LONG TIME so we decided that's where we'd go first. Punch it in to the GPS and head for down town SLC. WELL, Mormon Handicraft apparantly is in a construction zone, building with no walls across from Temple Square. The sweet ladies at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building pointed us in the right direction. IT MOVED! Fort Union Shopping Center off the 215. On our way we got side tracked to Garnder's Mill instead. I could spend ALL DAY there. Didn't buy anything, but got tons of ideas and fun. 5:30 rolled around pretty quickly, time to head to the airport so we can get our boarding passes to go to the gate and meet Emma. As we're driving away, Jill--Emma's Mom--calls and evidently the flight was delayed--now by this time I'm thinking, CURSE YOU ROTO ROOTER!

She was supposed to board at 5:00, but we got the "boarding call" from Jill at 6:15 as the door was closing. Just more time to figure out where we're supposed to go in the airport, right? Niether of us had ever met a minor at the airport, especially since heightened security. So we asked "the guy in the red shirt and hat" he looked official, where we needed to get a boarding pass.
"Check in with Delta," he tells us.
We stood in line staring at the "Delta AirFrance" sign with suspicion. We were waiting near the Kiosks. We got to the front and the guy told us to stand in the "other" line--later we found out "other" is airport talk for "problem" line.

Well after waiting in that line for 20 minutes I stepped up with Emma's itinerary ready to hand it to the lady. She looked at me with disgust and said, "flight number." "6086," I said calmly.

According to this woman's computer the flight logged their take off at 5:50, and as we know computers are never wrong. I tried to explain that there had to be some kind of mistake because Jill called us at 6:15 and the plane was still very much on the ground. Turns out, ready for this, WE'RE IN THE WRONG TERMINAL! We need to check in with United!

CURSE YOU ROTO ROOTER AND CURSE THE MAN IN THE RED SHIRT AND HAT!

SO, we left that building and walked down to Terminal 1. Things were looking up, the woman behind the desk knew about the flight delay and gave us both boarding passes without any problems.

On to security (Darth Vador theme song). I'm pregnant, right? So I carry water around with me to sip on so I don't get sick. This time my water bottle, WHICH I WAS NOT TRYING TO HIDE, was a 32 oz Nalgene bottle about 3/4 full. As I approach security with driver's lisence and Nalgene in hand the man says to me, "You can drink that here, or throw it away."
"Uhhh, okay." I respond.
"Sorry, Lace," my Mom pipes in.

I saw a garbage can near the conveyor belt so I put my purse in a bucket with my shoes as another security guard comes up to me, right in my face, and says, "Ma'am you're going to need to throw that away."
"I'm planning on it," I assure him as I motion toward the garbage can.
"Not THAT one. Use the big one out THERE." He fires back motioning to the large garbage can just outside of security. The garbage cans inside security are apparantly too good for Nalgene bottles.
"Okay," I calmy reply not wanting to attract any more attention. So, barefoot, I walk over and throw my Nalgene bottle into the garbage can, the security guard following me every step of the way. As I turn around to go back to the conveyor belt where my things have already gone through, he says to me, "If I'd known you were going to do THAT, you could have used the other garbage can." I'm thinking to myself--what do you mean "do THAT" isn't "THAT" what you told me to do. Instead of voicing these thoughts I looked at him quizzically. "You could have just dumped the water out," he says.
"Oh! Well, in that case," I fished my Nalgene bottle from the tops of the empty water bottles and dumped the water out. Why didn't the first guy say, "You need to drink that here or dump it out?" OH THAT ROTO ROOTER really should have clued me in.

Well, I still had my driver's license out because you have to show it to EVERYONE in the airport, (as a side note my driver's license is in a little pouch that clips into my wallet) Then as I'm walking through the security arch way I realize and sheepishly voice to the new security guard on the other side, "Oh, this pouch has a metal ring on it."
"Yeah, go put that in a dish and come back through." Then with a vindictive tone he added, "and your cell phone too."
I never carry my cell with me, but while traveling I did AND it was in my pocket, bulging through for all to see. With all the water bottle goings-on I had completely forgotten to unload my pockets. I could feel the vultures circling, "is this a blundering idot or a bomb threat waiting to go off?" Alas, I passed secutity, phew!

Emma's plane landed and we got to the car (parked in the other terminal) and we were off. She was starving so we decided to sit down at The Olive Garden before heading home even though it was nearly 8:30. While waiting to be seated I suddenly got the thought, "Where's my cell phone?" sigh, it was still in my pocket. Dinner was great and afterward Emma and I visited the restroom before the drive home. As I left the restroom I realized I didn't feel my cell phone in my pocket anymore. OH NO! I thought maybe it fell out at the table--went back and checked--nope! Maybe someone turned it in? nope. Maybe it's in the car? (but I remembered I'd felt it while waiting for the table) nope it wasn't in the car. Back in the restaraunt. Maybe it's in the bathroom? I'm sure the lady I followed into the bathroom thought I was crazy as I congratulated myself on finding the phone sitting one th floor near the toilet and then cursing as it slipped through my fingers and ALMOST landed in the toilet but instead, jump for joy, it landed behind the toilet!

It would seem the day was graciously coming to a close. We got home aroung 1:00 in the morning. Oh, what a day! What did I learn? LAUGH! We laughed throughout the day at all the unfortunate "opperator error" mishaps around us, yes, some self-inflicted. And at the end of the day.....I LOVE our new windows!